


Date Night

by sunandoceanblue



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Dialogue Heavy, Evil Space Husbands, F/F, Gossip, M/M, Phasma has a smol officer gf, Ren is a dick, but just slightly, implied Ren/Thanisson, pining mitaka, prosthetic leg!Phasma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:58:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunandoceanblue/pseuds/sunandoceanblue
Summary: "Lord Ren and the General are having dinner together." "I thought they hated each other." "They've been married for almost a year now. Of course they hate each other." *It's 'date night' on the Finalizer and the gossip spreads like wildfire.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is kind of experimental. Especially with the bits of dialogue. Bear with me as I suffer through finding an actual style.  
>   
> Also the prosthetic leg!Phasma bit is a headcanon of mine you can check out [here](http://thesunandoceanblue.tumblr.com/post/150866653568/prosthetic-legphasma)  
>   
> Thank you to [Demideerling](http://demideerling.tumblr.com/), [Katharkness](http://katharkness.tumblr.com/) and [Shifting-iris](http://shifting-iris.tumblr.com/) for being my betas.

GENERAL’S QUARTERS - TIME: 0530

_ Beep beep.  _

_ Beep beep. _

“Baby, turn off the fucking alarm...”

_ Beep beep. _

“You fucking turn it off, Ren...”

_ Beep beep. _

“Fine...”

_ Bee-- _

“Mmm, thank you...”

“Shh, Hux...”

“I can’t sleep in long...”

“Hm?”

“My shift starts early to compensate for the meeting.”

“Ah...”

“Ren, please show up on time. Your mission debriefing is crucial--”

“Whatever, fuck. I’ll be there. Stop bitching and let me cuddle you.”

*

STORMTROOPER BARRACKS C (DECK D) - TIME: 0537

"Hey, you going to the lounge tonight?"

"Me?”

“Well, who else?”

“Can't; working the fucking graveyard shift on patrol."

"But it's date night."

"Pfft. That's not a real thing. You think the General cares about dates?"

*

MESS HALL C (DECK D) - TIME: 0603

“I heard all this bullshit about date night was just to pair up officers so they’ll have children.”

“ Why else would High Command even allow it?”

“It’s not very subtle.”

“Well, after Starkiller, our army is desperate.”

“Didn’t the Empire pay people to have kids?”

“Yeah. After the fall.”

“Someone should bring that up to Hux.”

*

BRIDGE - TIME: 0723

"General."

"Major Plumme."

"I was wondering, sir, if you might have time to read my report on the remodelling of the early childhood education syllabus before I submit it to High Command? You did have a lot to do with the original curriculum.”

“When?”

“This evening perhaps?”

"I'm afraid I can't. I'm having dinner with my husband."

"Oh?"

"Private affair. I don’t need to release a statement every time I do something with Ren.”

“I didn’t say you did, sir.”

“Email me the report. It’ll be read no later than 0800 tomorrow. Though I have complete confidence I’ll approve already, given what you’ve been pitching.”

“Thank you, General.”

*

OFFICERS’ LOUNGE B (DECK B) - TIME: 0801

"Lord Ren and the General are having dinner together."

"I thought they hated each other."

"They've been married for almost a year now.  _ Of course _ they hate each other."

“But they’re having dinner?”

“I think that’s a code name for something else.”

“ _ Code name. _ They may as well publicly announce whenever they’re fucking with how obvious they are.”

“Hah. Anyway, I think I’m up for a promotion thanks to the syllabus redesign. You should have seen the way the General commended me.”

“Right. Tell me another.”

*

OFFICERS’ REFRESHER D (DECK B) - TIME: 0815

"They're a match made in fucking heaven if you ask me. Starkiller and Jedi Killer."

“I think they’re the best thing that’s happened to the Order.”

“Military-wise, maybe. But my eyes could have been spared a sight or two.”

Phasma’s own blue eyes roll behind her chrome helmet, keeping her posture straight so she isn’t given away. She tells herself that she holds little interest for gossip; it’s petty and superfluous, does nothing in the advancement of the Order.

But it sure helps the day pass.

"I saw them making out in a break room. They were humping against the wall like horny cadets."

Phasma’s lip twitches. That sounds like them. In all the years she’s known Hux, she’d detected the only thing that comes close to the General’s obsessive need for glory and success, is his need for complete attention. Ren gives it to him in abundance, showering Hux in a glow of deadly adoration. In the sense that Ren would kill for him (and probably kill Hux too if provoked enough). 

In Phasma’s opinion, their tiptoe of love and hate merely intensified after the rather explosive reveal of their engagement. They were unlike any pair she’s seen. Never quite leaving the honeymoon phase of their marriage, while still looking like they wanted to strangle each other. The only thing stopping them, she supposed, was the fact they never had enough time to themselves to do so with their busy schedules.

It’s no wonder they get off in break rooms between shifts and conferences.

*

HALLWAY 14 (DECK A) - TIME: 1009

Hux had requested Ren give his debriefing of his recent mission at their conference with High Command at 1000 sharp.

In fact, his husband had viciously threatened him with grievous bodily harm and withholdings of sex if Ren didn’t show. It was  _ mandatory. _ Ren had given a half-assed response, which prompted Hux to remind him more gently, while they still lounged in bed. (Which Ren still gave a half-assed response to.)

Ren didn’t go. He didn’t want to. And he knows Hux will be pissed. Ren knows he’ll send some petty officer to meekly remind him he missed the meeting and he’ll tell them to fuck off in some threatening manner. (Or perhaps he’ll just have them tell Hux to come to him in person.)

But right now he’s skulking.

“Lord Ren?”

Ah. Petty Officer Thanisson.

Ren likes Thanisson. Well, maybe that’s a stretch. It’s more if he got the chance to fuck Thanisson he wouldn’t pass it up. He looks nice and soft and  _ tight. _ He expels little fear around Ren, more curiosity than anything else. 

Hux won’t mind, he’s sure.

“Yes, officer?”

“I have a message from the General.”

“And that message is?”

“He wants you to see him in his office as soon as possible.”

Ren brushes his thumb over Thanisson’s lip. Thanisson exhales, mind pulsing with hazy, filthy thoughts.

Ren really needs to fuck him one day.

“Is that all?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m afraid so, my Lord.”

*

HALLWAY 14 (DECK A) - TIME: 1014

Phasma wonders what rumours would spread if someone else caught sight of this. Ren looming over Thanisson, completely predatory. She briefly recalls how one should react to seeing their good friend’s husband flirting with another (from guilty pleasure holo-dramas); with snarls and threats and slaps.

So, she decides to do the opposite, strolling up to the pair.

“Thanisson. You’re dismissed.”

“Ah. Yes, Captain.”

Thanisson leaves. Ren groans, sound distorted through the modulator.

“Isn’t Hux giving you any, sir? Is that why you’re so desperate for a fuck from Thanisson?”

“Oh, please. I wasn’t going to fuck him. A blowjob would have been just fine.”

“Is this feeling mutual?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

“No, and I’m not going to.”

“Wise.”

“Hmph. Come, sir. Let’s get to the gym facilities before they become too crowded.”

*

OFFICERS’ TRAINING ROOM C (DECK A) - TIME: 1022

It doesn’t take long for them to start their workout once they reach the gym. Phasma can get out of her armour in less than four minutes. Ren timed her once.

They run on the treadmills and share gossip in indifferent, monotone voices.

“I’ve heard it’s date night tonight, Captain.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“Conception?”

“You aren’t wrong.”

*

CONFERENCE ROOM 2B (DECK B) - TIME: 1058

“What a surprise that Lord Ren didn’t show.”

“I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for his absence, Colonel.”

“You put too much faith in him at times, General.”

“Yes, General, why are we still expected to wait up for him?”

“Gentlemen, please, I’ll have this sorted. Ren will report to me and deliver what he should have at the meeting. I’ll email you all by no later than 2200.”

*

OFFICERS’ TRAINING ROOM C (DECK A) - TIME: 1022

"And what about you, Ren. Have you and the General got any date plans?"

"If by that you mean I'm going to fuck him raw until he forgets his name, then yes. We have a very romantic evening planned."

"Romantic indeed.”

"What can I say? His idea of romance is me fucking his brains out when he's overworked."

“Typical.”

*

OFFICERS’ LOCKER ROOM B (DECK A) - TIME: 1050

She is waiting for Phasma after the training session. Holding a fresh water bottle and donning a smirk on her full lips.

Lieutenant Wilhelm.

She’s the kind of person who should never have to lift a finger, Phasma thinks. The kind who doesn’t. Like the General, she’s never been on the field; her brilliant, mathematically driven mind protecting her from the front lines and calloused fingers.

“Captain, you’re looking particularly sweaty this afternoon.”

“The unfortunate consequence of working out.”

“I do hope you’ll work just as strenuously tonight.”

“Of course, Lieutenant.”

Phasma likes her first name.  _ Florentine. _ It reminds her of rose petals and lipstick stains. She leaves them everywhere on Phasma’s body. On her mirror each morning before she leaves.

Lieutenant Wilhelm's dark painted lips curl up like ribbons. She’s a wicked woman.  _ Florentine. _

"So a night in then? Dinner, a few holos, sex. Usual date night shit?"

“Yes.”

“Alright. Thank you, Captain. I’ll sure you’ll want to shower.”

*

GENERAL’S OFFICE (DECK A) - TIME: 1104

Hux is pacing in his office. He knows Ren has well and truly finished his training for today. The fucker better be on his way over.

*

HALLWAY 2 (DECK A) - TIME: 1121

Ren walks at a languid pace. He’s far from afraid of Hux’s wrath. Please. Ren can defuse him like a bomb.

_ “He’s going to kill you.” _

_ “He might try.” _

_ “He will try.” _

That conniving woman will tell Hux what she saw; won’t be able to stop herself. Damn Phasma. (He can’t even be mad.)

Hux, however, can be very, very mad.

Ren almost receives a flying caf mug to the face the moment he enters Hux’s office. 

“ _ You fucking cunt! _ ”

(But bombs do have the tendency to explode.)

“Now, what would you have done if I was someone else, General?

“Have you any idea how much of a fool you made me?”

“You’re overreacting.”

“How  _ dare _ you?”

“Hux—,”

_ Ding. _

Hux’s datapad.

“Oh... don’t you fucking move, Ren.”

Silence as Hux reads face going redder flushing with anger.

“You did  _ what _ with Thanisson?”

_ Damn Phasma. _

*

**(To: HUX) 1122: PHASMA >** Not that it’s any of my concern, sir, but Ren was coercing Petty Officer Thanisson into fucking him.

*

BRIDGE - TIME: 1203

“Why is everyone talking about Thanisson and Lord Ren?”

“Thanisson is going around telling everyone Ren wants to bang him.”

“Seriously?”

“Apparently he has a thing for twinks.”

*

TECHNICAL DEPARTMENT 1B (DECK A) - TIME: 1235

“Thanisson is such a bullshitter, man.”

“As if Ren even looks at anyone but the General.”          

*

OFFICERS’ TRAINING ROOM A (DECK B) - TIME: 1314

“You don’t really think... Thanisson isn’t interested in  _ Lord Ren  _ is he?”

“Mitaka, just because you want to screw Thanisson doesn’t mean he wouldn’t jump on Ren’s dick if given the chance.”

“I don’t--”

“You do.”

“Ah... well. Regardless of how I feel--”

“I’ve heard he’s huge.”

“Ren?”

“Yeah. Apparently, the General has to order extra large condoms.”

“Oh...”

*

BRIDGE - TIME: 1320

Unamo arches a sharp brow.

Thanisson smirks.

“Yes?”

“You know what I want to hear.”

“You shouldn’t be gossiping, Unamo.”

*   
GENERAL’S OFFICER (DECK A) TIME: 1400

“You know nothing happened, right?”

“That is the least of my fucking concerns, Ren.”

Ren rocks his husband back and forth, kissing his temple. Hux had yelled for about fifteen minutes before he allowed Ren to speak. It was another two and a half hours before Hux let Ren touch him.

“Baby, it’s nothing personal. I just believe all of the superior officers are beneath me and I shouldn’t have to report to them.”

“Ren--”

“You’re my exception, of course.”

“Of course.”

He knows Hux will forgive him. He always does. Ren just has to say the right things with clockwork precision (and fuck him hard until he forgets what he’s mad about).

“So you neglected to tell Phasma your work out was supposed to be postponed until after the conference?”

“She always has enough on her mind as it is.”

*

**(To: PHASMA) 1203: WILHELM > ** Just letting you know I’m taking your gym bag to your quarters. You’re welcome.

**(To: PHASMA) 1215: REN >** I am going to kill you.

**(To: PHASMA) 1547: WILHELM > ** Have you heard these rumours? You were with Lord Ren earlier. Is it true? The bridge is buzzing over it.

**(To: PHASMA) 1821: WILHELM >** Your shift finished 21 minutes ago. Don’t make me start without you.

*

STORMTROOPERS’ SHOOTING RANGE D (DECK C) - TIME: 1931

Phasma scoffs at the messages. Here are her thoughts about them:

1) Lieutenant Wilhelm would have gotten a droid to carry her gym bag; Phasma doubts she could lift it.

2) If Kylo Ren were going to kill her, he would not have let her know.

3) This entire ship thrives on gossip.

4) Her girlfriend makes this threat a lot and the scene is always the same when Phasma arrives; Florentine sitting there, legs crossed, painted lips smirking wickedly around her wine glass.

*

GENERAL’S OFFICE (DECK A) - TIME: 1934

"You're awful, Ren."

"You married me."

"Because I had no choice. If you didn't have a good cock, I would have smothered you in your sleep long ago."

"Mm, I'd like to see you try, baby. Now less talking, more cock sucking.”

“I will bite your dick if you put it near my face.”

“And I’ll sever your tongue if you attempt that.”

“Darling, save something for the bedroom.”

*    
CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS - TIME: 1956

“I see you started eating without me, Lieutenant.”

“Phasma. Hey, you’re just in time actually. I was going to put on a holo.”

“Hm?”

“ _ Galaxy of Love.” _

“Sounds disgustingly cheesy.”

“The cheesiest, baby.”

“Excellent. Get it started while I get out of my armour”

“Will do. It’s got that actor Mikhail what’s-his-face in it. Ah, fuck--he was in  _ Star-Crossed Lovers _ .”

“Oh, him. He’s on your list of celebrities you want to fuck, isn’t he?”

“Number four.”

*

GENERAL’S QUARTERS - TIME: 2014

Ren has three fingers deep inside Hux, pumping roughly and stretching him open. His other hand is curled around the nape of Hux’s neck, forcing him down, face buried in the pillows. Hux clenches around his fingers and whines like a slut. 

Ren would level cities for him. He adores his General.

“Another?”

“No--fuck, Ren, give me your damn cock.”

“At least say please.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“That’s hardly as fun.”

“Ren, fucking hell, you  _ owe  _ me!”

Ren draws his fingers out, slicks up his cock. He shushes the small whimper Hux makes as he spreads his cheeks and lines himself up with Hux’s small, pink hole. So inviting. When he presses into Hux’s tight heat, he exhales, eyes sliding shut. It has to be one of his favourite feelings.

“Fuck.”

“H-hurry up.”

“Patience, baby...”

“Fuck patience.”

*

CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS - TIME: 2020

They get through about the first 20 minutes of the holo. Phasma changes out of her armour, into leggings and a tank, and slides next to Lieutenant Wilhelm (Florentine, her Florentine). Phasma slings an arm around her.

Florentine is small. Petite, with sharp angles and few curves, short in height. Her hair's a mess when it isn’t styled. Phasma adores her bed hair. She has a hooked nose, full lips and cheekbones sharper than her wit.

She’s small and sharp and all Phasma’s.

“I hate love triangles.”

“I know. Why can’t they all just bang?”

Phasma’s arm slips down to Florentine’s waist.

“God, they need to fuck and make up.”

“Are you describing the characters or Hux and Ren?”

“Hah.”

She creeps her hand along Florentine’s bare thigh. She’s tanned. Phasma is ghostly compared to her; most of her life spent on a ship.

“The only thing men are good for is giving women whatever they want.”

“If that were true they’d be good at giving orgasms.”

Phasma’s hand slips between her girlfriend’s thighs. Her panties are damp. Phasma can’t imagine the things she’s been thinking. Florentine’s breathing quickens in pace. Phasma rubs her through the material.

The holo is forgotten.

*

OFFICER’S LOUNGE A (DECK B) - TIME: 2045

“Thanisson...”

“Mitaka. Hey. Here for ‘date night’?”

“Not really.”

“Yeah, it’s a load of shit.”

“Seems so. I, ah, heard you had a run-in with Kylo Ren.”

“Hah. Everyone has heard about that.”

“Are you okay?”

“What?”

“I mean... usually when people are confronted by Lord Ren... it ends badly.”

“Oh, no... it was nothing like that. He didn’t want to hurt me.”

“Ah. Well... look, just be careful.”

“Yeah. Anyway, come get a drink with me.”

“Sure. Okay...”

*

GENERAL’S QUARTERS - TIME: 2052

"A-ah, Ren-!"

"Yeah?"

"Just like that!"

"Nnnm, yeah, baby."

"H-harder."

"Shh, that's it. Gonna fuck your greedy little hole until you scream."

"Yeah, fuck..."

"Would you--ah, shit, you're tight--you like that, Hux?"

"God,  _ yes. _ "

"Yeah? Fuck! I'll fuck you nice and hard and then I'll come in that cute ass of yours. Make you nice and full, baby."

“Not before you make  _ me _ come.”

“Fuck, your nails are sharp—hah... I’ll make you come so hard.”

*

CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS - TIME: 2109

Captain Evangeline R. Phasma is good at many, many things. She excelled in all her classes, both academically and in combat. She’s a competent leader and a valuable asset to the Order.

And she’s a pro at eating out women.

Just ask her girlfriend. (If she could hear you over her own screams.)

“B-baby, oh my  _ fuck! _ ”

“You like that? Like it when I fuck your pretty cunt with my tongue?”

“You know I fucking do, Phasma--fuck!”

Phasma smirks and drags her flat tongue along the wet folds, teasing upwards. She sucks at Florentine’s clit, keeping her thighs spread apart nice and wide. Her very first girlfriend had taught her how to do this. She was a year older than Phasma (and inevitably expelled for same-sex relations). Phasma doesn’t know what became of her, but she would like to thank her.

Florentine probably would, too.

“God... hey... come here, baby...”

“Mm... why?”

“I want to kiss you.”

“I want to kiss you right here...”

“Ah, shit... oh, baby!”

“That’s it... that’s it... you taste wonderful.”

Phasma crawls up Florentine’s small body, careful to not brace too much of her own weight on her. They kiss fiercely, without a care. They could easily pretend they’re anywhere else like this. (Not on a ship, not in a war.) Florentine sucks on her lip hard, with a promise to bruise. Phasma lets her. No one ever sees her face anyway.

“Phasma--fuck, Phasma...”

“Mm...”

“I love you--I love all of you so much.”

“All of me?”

Florentine’s fingers trail down her leg, skimming across the top of her prosthetic leg. Phasma can’t feel it. Sometimes it feels like she can. Sometimes she wakes up with phantom pains. But for now there’s nothing.

She still shivers.

“I love every fucking part of you, baby.”

*

GENERAL’S QUARTERS - TIME: 2155

Ren trails his fingers down his husband's bare back. He can feel the ridges of his spine. Hux smokes, wrapped in Ren’s embrace. He always asks the same question every time they fuck.

"Was that good?"

"Perfect as always, General."

"Mm. And I suppose you were adequate."

"Is that why you were screaming my name and drooling?"

"Shh."

“Still mad?”

“Naturally.”

Hux sits up. He always sits up. Never basks in the glow of their heated orgasms.

"Anyway, I have some documents I need to finalise and send off."

“Before you ask, yes, I sent you my debriefing. I’ll even deliver it in tomorrow’s meeting if you’d like.”

“That’s more like it, darling.”

Ren tugs Hux down for a kiss. They both know he won't come back to bed.

"Love you."

"I love you, too, Ren."

*

CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS - TIME: 0535

There’s a kiss mark for Phasma on her mirror in the morning.

*

CONFERENCE ROOM A4 (DECK B) - TIME: 1131

Phasma is waiting for Ren. He’s to take a squadron from her division to a raid of a First Order planet accused of giving safe passage to Resistance pilots, and perhaps even a base. Either way, they will suffer the consequences of their crimes.

Hux leaves the conference room first, tucking his datapad under his arm. Superior officers file out around them.

"How was the conference, sir?"

"Like all the other ones, Captain.”

“At least Ren showed up.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Ren steps out of the room last, stalking over to Hux. He tilts the General's chin up, swiping his thumb over his bruised bottom lip. "I think I did a good job last night..."

"Piss off. I'm busy."

"As you always are."

"You have me to yourself every morning and every night.”

“I do.”

"Why must you insist on pestering me while I'm on duty as well?

"To remind everyone who you belong to."

Hux tenses, slaps Ren’s hand away when he tries to touch his jaw. Phasma wisely says nothing. This is all terribly amusing.

Ren laughs. It sounds terrifying through the vocoder.

"I'm only teasing."

“Right.”

"Have a pleasant day, co-commander."

He swats Hux's ass as he strolls off (because yeah, he’s banging that). Hux only looks mildly disgusted. Phasma nods at the General and follows after Ren.

"I'm honestly shocked he hasn't smothered you in your sleep yet."

"I'm sure that d ay  will come, Captain.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This might be a series. Maybe. We'll see.    
>    
> Follow me on [Tumblr!](http://thesunandoceanblue.tumblr.com/)


End file.
